Back in NYC Again

We’re back in New York City again. We checked into Ronald McDonald House (room 1102) during a spectacular lightening storm last night. Killian seemed pleased with the room, as the beds are more comfortable than those we had last time, and the views more to his liking. He was focused on the positive and all was well, pretty much right up to this morning when we stepped into the radiation waiting room. We got to talking and he said he didn’t want to do the radiation. I told him that he didn’t have to do the radiation. Then, he said he felt he had to do the radiation, or he would lose his eye. I confirmed that that would be the likely scenario, but that we could try a chemo agent like an inhibitor. He said, “chemo never works on this cancer.” Then we talked about how all his choices were crappy ones. I told him that he did need to make a decision about today, and he said he wanted to go ahead with the radiation. Dr. H. was careful to give him time to decide about the treatment too. Funny though: here’s how the conversation went:
Dr. H. - So, do you want to forego radiation?
Killian - Yes.
Mom – (thinking “who says ‘forego’?”) Do you want the radiation treatment?
Killian – Yes, I want the radiation.”
Mom/Dr. H. – Are you sure?
Killian – Yeah. I want to do it.
They let me stay until he was locked to the table in his radiation mask and they were just about to turn on the beam. That contraption looks like water-boarding’s evil stepsister. I don’t know how he does it without hyperventilating every time. Afterward, he came out and said he needed new shoes. Fortunately, he’d made some money this week (he gives ukulele lessons on Saturday mornings now.) to support his therapy.